You can only really appreciate an entire month’s worth of music until you’re at least 6 days into the following month. That’s what my gran always used to say. My gran who wrote for NME in the early sixties. She was the one who tried to have The Beatles arrested, Mick Jagger lobotomised and planted child pornography on Pete Townshend’ s computer. She was a card. Knew absolutely nothing about music. But that’s why she wrote for the NME. In many ways my gran and I are very alike.

I have also reported various neighbours to the UK Border Control.

ANYWAY HERE’S SOME MUSIC YOU MIGHT LIKE: (Apologies for the brevity, but some of us have university deadlines this month. Next month will be different. I’ll have nothing to do.)

Album of the Month: Squarepusher – Ufabulum 

A plastic bag full of jelly mental, and not sounding too dissimilar to said bag. This hilariously unpronounceable album sees Tom Jenkinson wrestling dance music away from all those other hyped-up tykes and re-stamping his own lunatic genius on it.

4001 and Dark Steering are wide-eyed, gyrating masterpieces.  STAY OFF THE KETAMINE!



Still Flyin’ – On a Bedroom Wall

Electro-pop that’s huggable but has unfortunate itinerant tendencies. Like a lovable but rubbish dad.

Warming and soothing, but icily cool at the same time. Like a mother who secretly doesn’t love you.

I have run out of familial metaphors.

Spotify: Still Flyin’ – On a Bedroom Wall


The Cribs –  In the Belly of the Brazen Bull

Yeah, so I like The Cribs now. Shut your face.

Which is kind of what the album succeeds in saying itself. Although through the music rather than just stating it as fact in the lyrics . That would just be fucking crap.

Spotify: The Cribs – In The Belly Of The Brazen Bull


HEALTH – Max Payne 3 Official Soundtrack

It sounds like a soundtrack to one of those moody, megaviolent computer games that they have these days. Only this one is soundtracked by forever-caps-locked HEALTH; and I bum them, so I like it in a horrendously unprofessional ‘critic-proof’ kind of way; even if it doesn’t do much more than make you moody and a bit violent.

Spotify: Health – Max Payne 3 Official Soundtrack


Albums I Tried Quite Hard to Like But Failed:

Or AITQHTLBF as nobody will call it from now on.

2:54  – 2:54: With Placebo’s idea of what goth is, this does a similar line in mainstreaming a sound that should mine way deeper and way darker. It’s a shame as there’s promise. Revolving is a particular stand-out; 2:54 – Revolving

Stalking Horse – Spectres: If you can get past the most shameless approximation of Thom Yorke this side of the 21st century, and you have an ear for mind-numbing lyrical repetition then there’s much to enjoy here. Try 99 Stairs for a highlight; Stalking Horse – 99 Stairs

El-P – Cancer 4 Cure: Cannibal Ox’s The Cold Vein is the best rap album of the last 15 years, and this coming from it’s producer, vaguely hints at the cruel beauty and thickly produced majesty of that album. But that’s the problem. It’s merely a hint. Check out Works Every Time; El-P – Works Every Time

See you 6 days into next month, fellow enemies of punctuality.




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